Should your kids be most important in your family?
Are we causing more harm than good?
I read this article from the La
Crosse Tribune that a friend of mine posted written by John Rosemond and I have
to tell you, the title itself made me feel defensive immediately. I decided to
give it a chance to see what this article possibly had to say about how your
children shouldn’t be the most important. As a mother of 3 my life revolves
around my kids so, I couldn’t fathom the thought that my kids wouldn’t be number
one. As I continued reading it started to make more sense. I guess the title
was intended to call your attention and it sure did. It’s not that your kids
aren’t important, it’s that your kids shouldn’t be the most important, why?
Well, by making your kids the most important in your family you tend to not
give attention to what makes you a family in the first place, your marriage. I
am completely guilty of putting my kids before my husband, take for example,
when I go grocery shopping. I buy what they like to eat and what I know they’d
love but, I never actually get something for my husband or even myself at
times. I live telling him, “don’t touch that food it’s for the kids.” My
calendar revolves around their sports, education and social life, in fact my
kids have a better social life than my husband and I do. What I can tell you
worked out pretty well for me is planning a mom’s night out once every couple
of months. I get dolled up, meet my friends for dinner and a movie and avoid
talking about the kids. I let loose and it gives me a chance to recharge my
batteries and remember who I am. I try to have date nights every so often with
my husband in order to rekindle and enjoy time together. I probably should make
a bigger effort to plan them more often. Once we took a business trip and
turned it into a mini vacation for him and I had such a hard time dealing with
the fact that we were leaving our kids behind but, let me tell you, it was the
best time we ever had. We came back more in love, recharged and with ever
lasting memories. I have to say I missed my kids but I didn’t even know I needed
that break as much as I did. We came back better parents and better partners.
In the article Mr. Rosemond says, “Children feel entitled”, and my husband and
I always talk about how this generation is so different than ours and how these
kids feel so entitled without working hard for something. We have some things
in place at our home when the kids want something they need to work for it,
whether it’s washing the card or cleaning up around the house. I highly
recommend you check out this article and feel free to share your thoughts on my
blog. If there is one important point you can take from my blog, let it be to
make time for yourself and your spouse, I am definitely going to make some
changes this year. Your kids are very important but, without you and your
spouse working as a team and providing stability and a good environment they,
won’t be living the life they live. First take care of yourself, then nourish
your marriage and all of this will fall into place to help you raise good human
beings.
Written by: John Rosemond on January 1st, 2017
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